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Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

please describe what it is like to live in the us??

iguanamouth:

every morning my alarm gun wakes me up by firing directly over my head and if i dont immediately get up and sing the star spangled banner i get arrested. all matters in court are settled with opponents dressing up in bald eagle costumes and fighting to the death. theres an american flag tattooed across my face. once i saw someone get punched in the head repeatedly at a barbeque because they said they didnt like apple pie and nobody helped them. nobody even tried

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